Notes from "Family-of-Origin Frames in Couples Therapy" Article

Family of Origin Frames in Couple Therapy

Uses 6 frames (reaction to family of origin) to help differentiate Marital Styles

• Coping – How you deal with anxiety, pressure
• Modeling – Models in your childhood (father, mother, other) whom you copy
• Role – Role you played in family of origin (scapegoat, helper, clown, etc.)
• Definition – Beliefs that define what you believe to be reality; myths
• Reversal – Things that you reject “I won’t EVER do that in my family!”
• Loyalty – Coalitions, triangles, and issues of loyalty or split-loyalty (divorce/remarriage, etc.)

Three marriage styles emerge:

• Pursuer/Distancer – Seeking intimacy vs. wanting space
• Overfunctioner/Underfunctioner – Taking responsibility, acting vs. not taking responsibility and passivity
• Blamer/Placaters  - Critical and demanding vs. Trying to please